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The idea of being that open and vulnerable. The idea of trusting someone that much. He knew, as a doctor that it was dangerous. //“You'll injure yourself unless you're still.” Sherlock's voice was low, rough. He paused, looking at John again.
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"It's one thing to undermine my work but don't you ever insult my fanfiction! Is that clear?" John blinked, clearly impressed. This was the first time she stood up for herself, even if it was over stories he and his companion having gay sex.
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"I—Mycroft said—you were—damn it. He said I should be more—nice. To you." Sherlock waved his arm in what was clearly meant to be a the ways of you tedious humans baffle me gesture.
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The detectives own rule to not eat while on a case was proofing to be his doom. He still refused to eat and therefore the muffin remained in his mouth uneaten and John couldn’t help but giggle at the irony of a muffin muffling Sherlocks cries.
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"What more do you need to say, Dr. Watson? I thought you have made your point quite clear. You just broke my heart. If I stay here any longer, I might have to break your hands. It's best for me to leave so you can reflect upon on what you have just said."
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Sherlock towering over him, making him feel small and yet the complete focus, for one moment, of Sherlock's attentions, which could make one feel larger and more important than anything. Until you were weighed and found wanting, that is.
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my facial features are irregular, my chin nearly nonexistent, I have a squint, my physique is weedy at best, my complexion is pasty... "Donovan isn't the first to use the word 'freak.' My intellect is what sets me apart."

"Sherlock," he said, walking forward, closing the distance between them, keeping his tone even. "Have you ever wondered why I like to leave the lights on when we . . . you know?"

"mostly because I want to look at you. I want to see you, so I can really, truly believe I'm with someone . . . " he nearly chickened out, but locked gazes with Sherlock and made himself continue. "Someone as bloody gorgeous as you are."

Sherlock blinked rapidly. "I'm . . . glad you think so," he said, uncertain, clumsy at expressing emotion, even worse than John, and that was saying something.

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"I'm supposed to stop you doing stupid things." Sherlock pulls back to stare down at him, with that familiar expression of pity. "Then why are you always with me when I do them?"Of course Sherlock already knows the answer, as he always does.
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he knows without being told where Sherlock’s going. Well, not exactly. He doesn’t know where, or for how long, or who. He knows why, though, and that’s the most devastating knowledge he could have. He’d asked once and Sherlock had told him. He was
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There was one night, shortly before their NEWTs, when he fell asleep on the spot and John felt an urge that had featured increasingly in his day (and night) dreams about Sherlock
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“You mean...I see. You’re asking me if I have not had intercourse.” John shifts uneasily. “That is perhaps accurate, though I’ve never had any desire to. It’s not exactly unheard of for someone of my age to have not done so.”
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Another lengthy pause. Sherlock was debating between throwing Mycroft out and telling him everything. Their relationship had always trodden a narrow line, and they were both adept tightrope walkers now.
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“Everyone’s so dressed up.” John smoothed down his checked shirt. “You look lovely,” said Sherlock, standing tall in his bruise-coloured crushed velvet suit, the long, uncluttered lines of which gave him a rather alchemical look, he felt.
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Sherlock's wrenchingly attracted to the bags under John's eyes, the wrinkle in his brow, the pores in his cheeks, the veins in his eyes, his chapped lips, largish ears. He wants John to sweat, and drool, and cum all over him.

"You pitied me! The poor, virginal freak."

"Strange. I thought I fancied you. Must have been mistaken."

Sherlock can't look John in the eyes, he's too sick inside and too afraid of what he'll face within himself. John's fingers curl against his chest, his touch like a spitting livewire.

"Don't. Stop doing that. Don't like me."

"What would you prefer?"

"Anything but that!"

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He wanted to make the tears stop, all he wanted to do was to make Sherlock better again, to fix him. John pressed his lips gently against Sherlock's own, tasting the salty sadness and the loneliness.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Because I needed to, John thought. Because I'm selfish, because I don't want to see you broken.

Sherlock nodded, as if hearing the thoughts as clearly as any spoken word. "Not out of pity?"

"Not out of pity." John confirmed.

"No one's ever kissed me before." Sherlock admitted, his voice quiet. He didn't lower his eyes, and there was a challenge in them.

"It's fine. It's all fine." John tightened his hand round Sherlock's. And suddenly he understood. He should have realised before, should have seen the clues. "Before... before you were raped...?" John trailed off, not having the heart to finish the question.

"I was a virgin." Sherlock said levelly enough and with those four words, John's world fell apart.

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Sherlock narrows his eyes and smirks a little. “I see. You don’t want to pressure me. Really, it’s quite fine. As I said, I’ve thought about it, and I’d like to enjoy the full extent of our relationship.” Maybe Sherlock notices his utter confu
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They look horrid.” Sherlock began to take them off and John took a step forward. “Don’t.” Sherlock stops, leaving them perched on the end of his nose as he looked at John over the lenses. Swallowing, John walks closer,
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The sight that welcomed him back to consciousness was a crying Sherlock. "Is there...a case?" he asked, slurring every word. Sherlock never cried for real. Sherlock cried on cue.
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The process as a whole was mildly revolting, and would have been disgustingly messy if he hadn’t been painstakingly cleaning himself along the way, licking away every little smear of sauce off his wrists and hands and fingers as it appeared
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Everyone stared at Sherlock, who took a gulp from Lestrade’s water bottle to hide behind and choked a little on discovering the contents weren’t actually water. John took a deep breath and continued.
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‘Harry Watson.’ It’s not so much of a question as it is a statement. The woman has the same nose as John, the same determined chin, and almost the same jaw line, the angle of it softened to a woman’s face. ‘Sherlock Holmes.
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"Sherlock, those... they weren't dates." Sherlock is quite possibly the smartest man in London and it is galling that is takes him several moments to realise what is going on here. "Of course they were dates. We like each other, we went out, we had fun."
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"I'm not a child now. my mental facilities have been untouched by my transformation; it is only my physical body. Unless" Sherlock's expression shutters closed. "You are no longer attracted to me?" Real minefields never felt this treacherous.
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"You, my dear John, are having way too much fun with this. I think we should skip dessert and go home. It's been a full day." At the unexpected endearment, John stumbled into the table. Sherlock reached out an arm to steady him

He pulled out the fortune and unraveled it to read: Love is closer than you think.

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I mean what he did to make you go along with that, with... having sex with him!” “He... asked?” He sighed theatrically. “Honestly, it’s not that big a deal, John. On odd occasions, Mycroft and I have had sex.
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Too bad, bitches, the boy is mine. SH
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Her posture is perfect, with a bit of emphasis on her curve of her hips. Her smile is bright and charming, but the eyes, the eyes are all predator. The man she is talking to is nothing to her. He merely has something that she wants. This is Irene Adler.
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John had learned from the beginning to ride the storm waves and hang on for the ride. He assumed that was how they had managed to have sex. Twice. Before they had even kissed.
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"Your plural marriage to your job and me does not appear to get you much action." "many people, you included, seem to require sex; I do not share that impulse. Sex doesn't hold the same interest for me as intellectual pursuits."
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at the same time that Sherlock says "John," and looks at him, and then Sherlock starts forward and kisses him. Kisses him. Eagerly, breathing hard. He backs off before John can react, and he looks almost shy, and John's heart goes cold all over.
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Sherlock's hands gripped him in a way that was slightly painful in their desperation. He came all over John before they had the chance to properly touch each other
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Sherlock’s long limbs wound around John in passive possessiveness; John nestled his face in the crook of Sherlock’s neck, one arm thrown across Sherlock’s narrow chest. Lestrade wasn’t sure what to do. “Bloody hell!” the PC sniggered.
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Sherlock was now staring at John, wide-eyed, intrigued. He loved the way John sounded--commanding, holier-than-thou, dominant. He was reminiscent of Sherlock, himself. Seeing himself in John was invigorating
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They don’t sleep together. They don’t sit on the couch together. They don’t kiss unless they’re in bed together, and it’s not something Sherlock will initiate
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If you leave me my life will be a bleak and empty shell, bereft of joy and sunshine! You make me human, which is ironic because I have never been one of you spectacularly ignorant mortals!”
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“I don’t know,” Sherlock replied after a moment’s thought. His voice didn’t sound too steady either. “You’ve had more experience at this than I have.” “With women.” Sherlock actually trembled. “Are you saying you’ve never done this
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“But--” Sherlock stammers, even though the urge is already rising unstoppably to the brink. More pressure, John's warm palm right there where he's tender and aching. “Ah, god--” With a sharp gasp, Sherlock pisses himself.
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John wants to know if they still taste like smoke, whether he can still taste Sherlock beneath it all, or if he's shrouding himself like he always does, and it's left to John to peel back all the layers, Walls of inexperience and excuses
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Then, other sensations started registering, all of them Sherlock: his warm panting breath on his temple, the hand on his stomach (seemingly unaware of the mess he was making), his burning cock between his thighs, the coarse pubic hair against his skin
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John covered his face. He wanted to call Sherlock an idiot, but remembered that if that was the only relationship Sherlock had or attempted to have then there was almost no way for him to know exactly what was wrong with it. John lifted his head.

Sherlock is silent for a moment as he considers his response. “You want to have sex with me.”
John smiled. He lifted his head, shimmied back up the bed, and placed a soft kiss on Sherlock’s lips. He couldn’t help but blush as he responded, “Yes. You are gorgeous after all.”
Sherlock was very quiet.
“I mean,” John added, pulling his hand back, “if it’s okay with you. We don’t have to if you’re not ready.”
“I’m sure you know that I’m not accustomed to dating and other types of romantic relationships” Sherlock said. “How often are couples supposed to have sex?”

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It turns out to be even harder to walk in high heels than John had thought it would be. It doesn't take long for his embarrassment to turn to annoyance.
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If Sherlock hadn’t told her that he was married to his work, Watson would find herself wondering whether his hand had lingered on hers, or if he was fussing over her longer than usual
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"When I am touched," he says, "the results are unpleasant for you and for me." "Oh," says John. He would have to be an idiot to not get that part, but he humors Sherlock anyway
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"You are beautiful." "I need you not to," says Sherlock. "I need you not to question me about this, John, please? There are things --" He stops, rubs his forehead, and gives John a look that's more naked and vulnerable
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"I really don't think you understand what a 'date' means still." "I do," The detective argued, "I questioned Mycroft about the origin. It's what two people go on when they're interested in each other and wish to further the relationship."
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"I...uhm...I like the way your body looks, okay!" "Might I ask, on what level? Objectively, subjectively, medically, esthetically, sexually, abstractly...." "Yes," John answered crisply, almost laughing at the absurdity of his predicament.
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"It was my choice, Sherlock, it was my-- fucking-- unfaithfulness, all right?" "I might have avoided falling in love with you," Sherlock finished, eyes finally meeting John's, face frighteningly blank. "It's my fault, John, that I didn't."
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“Sherlock, what the bloody hell are you doing?” “Trying to determine whether or not it's possible for a man who is inexperienced with anal sex to reach orgasm solely from being penetrated.”

Sherlock looks almost shy, suddenly, which isn't an expression John has ever thought him capable of, and replies, “If all the participants are amenable to it, of course.”

John stares down at Sherlock's face-- Sherlock's brilliant, impossible, aggravating, absolutely beautiful face-- and thinks about all sorts of things, like how he isn't, generally speaking, interested in men or sociopaths, and how much it will irk him to have to admit that everyone was right about them from the start. And then he smiles.

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"You could have just asked me round the normal way. 'We're having a dinner for Passover, do you want to come?' 'Yes, Sherlock, that sounds great.'" "I didn't expect I would invite you," Sherlock says, making things worse by way of attempted apology.
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"Couldn't be," he knocks on the door. The force of the knock pushes it open, and Donovan's breath catches in her throat. Lestrade stands there numbly. "What do you want?" Sherlock grits out, kneeling with each leg on either side of John's hips.
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but every time he looked into the mirror, Sherlock’s eyes were still closed. That dreamy expression had intensified if anything, and John found himself unwilling to pronounce the task complete.
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After the shirts are out of the way, John's hands move naturally towards their trousers, and that's when Sherlock freezes up. He tugs at John's hands, placing them back on his chest and nipples, and John gets the message and kisses him again
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John Watson is a good man who came back from war believing himself to be a monster. Sherlock knew that the second they met. He also recognised immediately that John was mistaken.
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John pauses, trying not to blush any further at 'renewed,' the man doesn't mean it like that. The intent look and half-taunting grin on Sherlock's face is not helpful, and he gives up in self-defense.
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When the woman sputtered slightly and heaved a huge breath, John smiled at her before flashing a huge grin at Sherlock, who felt a warm surge in his lower belly and to his horror, his cock twitch slightly.
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What he got, was Sherlock standing in the middle of the living room, wearing a corset, holding up two pairs of women's shoes.
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He looks down at John with clear eyes, looking suddenly frustrated with John’s inability to infer his meaning. “I already care,” he says. “Oh,” John says. Sherlock starts to turn away, then stops. He touches John’s hand, just a brief press of
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But I would think it's self-evident that I'm not him" "It's not. If I could classify people like that I would have avoided David entirely." "You can't trust your judgement." "Yes".
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John smiled and prompted his friend, reminding him of his advice- “someone he loved.” They stared at each other for a moment before Sherlock looked away and made his second guess. Slowly, so slowly, he typed out: S…H…E…R…L…O…C…K
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It should bother you. Things are dim now, faded.Just a bit. Like the world has been left out in the sun for too long. Everything dull and pre-written, entirely bereft of intrigue. It's not the kind of life you imagined you would be able to tolerate.
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John could barely breathe as Sherlock brought his lips next to his ear and – impossibly – lowered his voice even further. “I’d also like the chance to get to know you more…thoroughly.”
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And now Sherlock was shaking anal beads at him, asking to use them for the sake of science. It was a bit much. He took a deep breath, and then another.
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John wants his lover to stop thinking, to have a moments peace. The bed is creaking under the weight of them and John is sure Mrs Hudson can hear them. Perhaps the whole street.
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She is struck by how young he suddenly seems. "Sherlock," she says quietly as she places her hand on his, "have you ever considered that John Watson might not be the only person in the world?" "He is Mrs Hudson. He is to me."
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Clambers on top of Sherlock, pinning him down on the sofa and tickling him deliberately, finding the most sensitive spots and returning to them again and again with increasing success.Inside of the thighs. Unexpected choice.
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Ignoring the man's irritation, Donovan grabbed his wrist and waved it slowly in front of the room. "This, gentlemen, is an engagement ring. He's getting married
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And Sherlock hadn't pulled out. Lying there, with a cock inside him, not doing anything, felt extremely strange. "Sherlock?" John tried again. Sherlock let out a soft snore.
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“So, John, will you marry me?” John ducked away from Anderson as he tried to think of a way to get him out of the flat without doing anything illegal. Like punching him in the face, which was sounding like an increasingly good idea.
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But then John would want more. At dinner he would expect his hand to caressed over a bowl of pasta and on evenings in he would expect to held affectionately in the dark. Sherlock knows nothing of affection, of passion, of romance.
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Sherlock wanted to apologise. This wasn't a game any more, he wasn't sacrificing a rook to gain access to the opposition's king. It wasn't anything so simple, it was all dirtied with emotions and hatred and guilt.
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This *woman* clearly made him happier than Sherlock could. He wished, for a spilt second, that he had normal emotional functions so that he could understand what it was about John’s relationship with this woman he hated so much.
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‘I would be without you. You….you are the first friend I’ve ever had. If you had died, I would have been alone. Again. And then who would I talk to? Because the skull is gone.’
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But this…this was something entirely different.

The first thing was the feeling, sudden and strong and so unexpected that it stopped him dead in his tracks. The image came next, when his mind caught up with his sight and he understood what his body had reacted to. A tall man. Dark hair curling delicately around his face. Strong features, not pretty, no, but handsome and very unique in their way. Piercing, light eyes, turned thankfully away from him and rather blisteringly on a banana. Hands buried in a long dark coat, and boredom etched on the very line of his body, turned sideways to John. That silhouette struck a chord at the very base of John’s core, as if he had known it forever, intimately, and was just seeing it again after a long absence. The wave of feeling that overtook the good doctor was so strong that he could feel his hands shaking, his legs go weak.

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Sherlock Holmes sleeps diagonally across the bed.John can see how the habit developed. Unfortunately, like any of Sherlock’s other habits, there is little point trying to break it. You can try, but you will fail.
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Sherlock's hole was swollen and red, after John fucked him for too long. Ejaculate was leaking from it and running a white trail down his thigh.John pressed a light kiss to the swollen flesh, enjoying the intake of breath Sherlock gave.
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As he went to get into bed, he pressed himself up against John, laying his palm against John’s tummy. “You suit your curves, John. I wouldn’t.” “Bed,” was all John said in response. Sherlock obeyed.
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John is the only person he will ever love, he knows that in the way he knows everything else – with blinding certainty. But he shares John with the world.They all tug him away so that Sherlock has to pull him back.
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